Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Randomize
