I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
