After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
