K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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