I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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