help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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