The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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