you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
