Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
