I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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