Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
