i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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