I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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