Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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