ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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