My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
