I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
