id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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