the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
