I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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