Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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