i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
