Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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