After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
