He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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