I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
