dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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