In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize