Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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