is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
