Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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