I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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