You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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