im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Someone signed my nipple.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
