first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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