i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
