Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
