My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
