shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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