Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
