I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
