I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
zippers are such a cool invention
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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