I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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