1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
