Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Enjoy the penises
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
