So drunk, too bad you don't want this
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
