Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
