I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
