Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
