So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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