You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Randomize
