My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
