Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
