That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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