we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
