If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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