Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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