was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Girls should come with a carfax report
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
