oh god the rape fog is back!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
