She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
