fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
