I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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