I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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