When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
